My Neon Soul

Lately, I’ve been having serious writers block. I’ve been wanting to blog so bad but wasn’t inspired to write anything. I finally thought about a topic after starting a book I recently got as a birthday gift. Neon soul by Alex Elle has just given me so much spark. I’ve smiled, cried, and reminisced over past lessons I’ve dealt with. I’ll just share the first 3 pages of her book and go from there.

(Book: Neon Soul by Alexandra Elle who is an awesome self love ethusiast author)

Honestly, every word in those 3 pages spoke volumes to me. I’ve honestly felt stuck. Sometimes it feels easier to just put your healing on pause and focus on other things. Sometimes it feels like I’m 100% healed, & sometimes everything feels like a damn hurricane.

Today I am declaring that:
My healing is important.
My healing comes first.
My healing is not linear.
My healing is necessary

Just like Alex Elle said “My healing is most valuable” so even though I’ve gone weeks without writing content for you guys I’m back today. I’ve learned that it is so easy to be broken and stay broken. The real challenge is HEALING. My feelings were recently hurt by a past situationship and at first, I wasn’t dealing with it but then one day it just came down on me. I sobbed so hard I thought how could I get caught up like this. How could someone hurt me? I’m supposed to be Worthy and loved. Why can’t this guy see how amazing I am? I eventually came to the conclusion that I was still Worthy and that the situationship was not best for me. During my time of not posting blogs, I did not stop my worthy journey. I just needed extra time to ignite my light. I needed extra time to figure out what exactly I needed from the universe. To anyone dealing with traumatic stress or any stress, in general, PLEASE do not let your spark die out. You are important and you are worth your own journey to healing. My voice was muffled for a bit, now my throat chakras are in alignment.

Before I wrap up this post. I’ll just give a quick example to think about. A lot of musicians/ artists do some of their best work while in pain. They make some of the best songs while heartbroken, paint some of the best pieces when freshly out of a toxic relationship. We are so used to living in a broken state. We should do more music and art when we are lifted in our highest self. Don’t settle for that broken spirit dig deeper than that.

Sorry for the delayed post. As always thanks for reading please share, like and subscribe 💋

Healing Process

There are pretty much 5 stages in the healing process 

1. Awareness

2. Healing 

3. Solving

4. Creating 

5. Overcoming
In psychology class, you may have learned about the stages of grief which are somewhat similar

 
▪️Denial and isolation 

▪️Anger

▪️Bargaining

▪️Depression

▪️Acceptance
In the first stage of both, you are coming to terms with what actually happened to you. For me personally, I actually thought in my mind that I was having a nightmare. I was truly in denial and I was trying to grasp awareness. In the first stages of grief or emotional healing, it is very hard to accept what has happened and sometimes it causes you to isolate yourself from everyone and everything. In recent, blog post before I mentioned “HATING EVERYONE” because I was so hurt. 
In the second stage when you think you are ready to heal anger hits you like a ton of bricks. Also because you can’t find a solution as to why it had to be you, self-blame begins to take its course. The intense emotion is a reflection of being hurt. During this stage I literally contemplating about killing people!! I felt so hurt that I just wanted to hurt others and I thought it would make me feel better. Luckily I didn’t kill anyone or I may be in jail instead of on this blog. I also never had the feelings of committing suicide because deep down I knew my worth but for one split second when laying in the hospital bed I had a thought cross my mind 💭 (What if I just didn’t wake up and all this would be over) 
Stage 3 the what if’s the self-blame and the bargaining with God to take the pain away …. truth is we can’t change someone else’s actions. You have to push through the pain and find a solution to how it can make you a better person.
Stage 4 the hardest stage, the trickiest stage DEPRESSION HITS LIKE AN 18 WHEELER TRUCK. You are trying to create a space that feels safe but depression takes over your life! I was crying every other day. Just so weak and vulnerable. This happens over a period of time. This is honestly the time you should seek help so that you don’t self-harm or partake in things that hurt you more.  
Stage 5 

Reaching a stage of acceptance and not letting it consume your entire life. This stage is not necessarily happiness but the depression isn’t as deep. In this stage, some people choose to forgive (not forget) Not all individuals can forgive at this stage, hell how can you truly forgive someone that violated you. For me personally, because I felt that the anger I was holding in was taking over me, I chose to forgive in my heart so that I could have some sort of PEACE. This is the stage where I realized I was WORTHY after months of feeling WORTHLESS. This is the stage where I took my power back. This is the stage where I Overcome. This blog is my Stage 5 !! The support group is my Stage 5. My apparel line is my Stage 5!!

All of these stages are based on one’s self-improvement. Every survivor heals differently and it damn sure isn’t linear at all. Sometimes you could be at stage 4 and revert back to stage 1 and that is perfectly fine. The importance is that you get back to loving yourself because you are NOT what happened to you. You are not a Victim but a SURVIVOR. 
As always thanks for reading please like, share and subscribe. 💋